Monday, December 29, 2008

simple thing that keeps me going

you know, for a person like me who really loves to tied up my hair,
sometimes, to let the wind blows my hair is something delightful to fell.

like today,
i was on backseat of motorcycle rode home.
i loosed my hair and let the wind swirly blew it.
it felt like flying.

i felt that all of my needless thoughts were disappear into the unknown,
those thoughts were fly along with the hair movements and then gone.
i relieved and felt the spirit which i thought i haven't got that lately.

i was also gaze the stars.
that was a bonus for tonight.

clear starry sky and the wind that blows my hair.

Thank you Lord..

dear my future husband (which i don't know whom i sent this to)

i know, wherever you are and i am,
we are and always will gaze at the same stars when we look at the sky.

we are apart, yet a part.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Scenery of cemetery

I’ve been attending to three funerals for this almost past two months.

I still vividly remember the look of people that loosing her, his, their loved one. Tears, whine, anger, and regret are blended into one particular circumstance that I’m sure you all know how it feels being around them or being one of them.

Sad, of course. Knowing that your loved one separate into another dimension from you, the unknown.

The first funeral was my one of closes friend’s father. Her father passed away when he was on his duty outside Jakarta. He inhumed in Tanah Kusir.

The second was my college friend. He passed away when he took the intensive medication outside Jakarta also. He is now laid down in his last resting place, Tanah Kusir.

And the third was my old neighbor, a father of my child mates. He placed in Pondok Kelapa grave area.

All those three funerals had their own way of ceremony. Religion and culture made those different from each other, and behind each of those also had a different story;

I remember how an eldest son felt the unbearable repentance for not being at his father side for his last breath and just had a little time to see his father before the coffin closed at the third funeral.

I can’t imagine how my friend’s felt to welcoming her father home as an un-soul-ed body.

At the second funeral I remember how friends reminiscence him back in the college time.
Also at the second funeral the question that I couldn’t answer till now, came out.
“Are you ready?” (Well I silly answered the question with “depends on how I die”). Then i asked again "and, are you ready loosing someone that you love so much?"

I saw a train passed by the cemetery, while I asking myself those questions. I froze for a while and kept gazing that train until it’s gone. That was beautiful (I loves train).

It’s kind remind me about how I’ll never be able to know when, how or where my and people that I love’s train is going to stop.

It could be anywhere, anyhow and at anytime mine stop, yours stop, ours stop, their stop.
sooner or later. it shall stop.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

i can choose and pick which one i like


yes my dear,
please choose
and grab it.
make it as your own star.
for it will be your friend as long as you live.
a friend with unconditional love.
a friend from God.

don't be afraid, young lady,
you are free to decide.

when you are in the dark, it'll illuminate your path.
it'll help you to reach your dream.

brew coffee's terrace


i was waiting my budy finish her test.
i was in a group 1, so i took the test earlier than her.
waited in Brew coffee's terrace made me quite sleepy.
it was so quite.
but then i found my self drown looking at people; how they walked, how they brought their bag, the way they occupied their time when waited cab or their private car.
i tried to capture that scene.
This is the view from Brew's terrace, i straight across the Bursa Efek Jakarta's building, the side building to be precise.
i don't like the yellow and pink, i think it should be rougher.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

this is where they live


and they brought me here that day..

they visited me









that day, they were visit me.
they kept flying in my head over, over and over again.
that was a lovely time, they held my hand and sang together.
the song i've never heard before, the song i've never even think that it may exist.
but that was sound magically wonderful and majestic.

i couldn't record the song,
but i could make them seen through my drawings.
and these are the pictures of them.

i might be





i might be blind,
but i ain't blunt...





well, i might be blunt,
but i ain't dumb.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

sekolahnya bagus, soalnya banyak mobil bagus yang parkir..

hee..????
emangnya sebuah sekolah bisa ditentuin bagus enggaknya dari mobil-mobil mentereng
yang parkir di areal sekolah apa?
ckck

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

self concept

Stop trying to be an ideal person as your concept about how yourself to be, if it's not you.
That ideal concept about how yourself to be might be just an accumulation of person you've met, movies you've watched, others people idea, good person you've seen, good thought's you discover.
What matter is you, the real you, not the concept of how you should be.
it leads to disappointments, and soul confusing.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

seprai kasur di musim hujan

huaah..
kenapa seprai kasur selalu mendadak enak kalo musim ujan gini.
gw sangat menikmati mengelus-eluskan punggung kaki ke seprai,
atau menyelipkan tangan gw di balik bantal..
enaaakkk..lembut..dingin..
males ngapa-ngapain....