Thursday, December 24, 2009

Heal your emotional pain, broken heart and free yourself from sadness

Menurut teman saya, sebut saja namanya Randu, banyak orang yang senang berada dalam kesedihan. Termasuk saya, katanya.
elo itu udah bodoh, tapi senang dengan kebodohan lo dan berharap orang-orang memberikan piala atas kebodohan lo”.
What the heck??!
Buat saya yang waktu itu dalam keadaan super drop, seperti didorong jatuh ke tempat yang sangat gelap and I felt a wave of nausea all of sudden.
Dan dengan bahagianya dia malah menarikan “victory dance” atas perempuan-perempuan (saya dan teman saya satu lagi yang waktu itu juga sedang patah hati, sebut saja namanya kiki) yang sedih karena kisah cintanya, yang sayangnya banyak disebabkan oleh sedikitnya logika kami yang bekerja. Ahaha.
Sedikit tambahan, Randu adalah seorang laki-laki yang terperangkap dalam tubuh perempuan. Hell yes! you would know everything behind a man through her. Hanya kepada orang-orang tertentu yang dia pilih, dia mau menampilkan “wujud” aslinya.

Lalu, saya mulai mengingat semua kata-kata dia, yang menyimpulkan bahwa saya senang berada dalam kesedihan, bahwa saya harus memutuskan rantai kesedihan atau hidup saya harus berakhir dengan mengulang kesedihan itu terus menerus sampai akhir hayat (hehe berlebihan).

But then I realized that was true!
Bagaimana bisa?
Bagaimana mungkin?
Padahal, bukannya setiap orang mau bahagia dan nggak suka kesedihan?
Saya tidak tahu persis kenapa begitu..

Yang saya tahu, saya harus belajar, sembuh dan bangun. Saya mau bahagia.
Saya sudah puas bersedih, dari mulai nangis kecil, nangis guling-gulingan, bangun tidur nangis (sumpah, ini paling nggak enak), mau tidur nangis,  muntah, menyiksa diri dengan lagu-lagu dan liriknya yang sedih, bengong, ngomong sendiri, ngomong dengan bayangan, menyusuri jalan yang biasa dia lewati, sampai googling yang berbuntut membuat saya merasa semakin nggak ada artinya.

Saya bisa bahagia dan memilih bahagia melalui pelajaran dan terapi untuk “kesembuhan” yang saya simpulkan dari perjalanan-perjalanan berbagi cerita dengan para sahabat, buku, film, lagu dan atau apapun yang saya temui.


 1. Berhenti bersedih
Stop mendengarkan lagu-lagu sedih! Kalo kata Samuel, dengerin lagu-lagu mellow ketika sedih sama dengan menjorokkan diri kita semakin dalam ke lubang kesedihan. Saya (pada akhirnya) setuju, karena ternyata yang saya butuhkan adalah “alat bantu” untuk keluar dari lubang ini, bukan “alat bantu” yang menemani kesedihan dan akhirnya semakin menjorokkan saya lebih dalam lagi. Kemudian saya memilih dua lagu sebagai teman, yang satu lagu “ke-Tuhanan”, dan yang satunya lagi, lagu dengan irama riang tapi menenangkan dan menyemangati. Lagu yang saya pilih, telah melewati tiga seleksi; seleksi pertama, mendengarkan ketika sadar, seleksi kedua, mendengarkan ketika sedih atau ingat dia dan seleksi ketiga, mendengarkan ketika mau tidur. Kalau lagu tersebut bisa mengalihkan saya dari rasa sedih, bisa membuat saya bangun pagi tidak dengan air mata maka itu adalah lagu yang tepat, yang pada akhirnya saya putar berulang-ulang setiap saya berbaring mau tidur atau ketika merasa down. Untuk lagu rohani saya ngga menseleksinya, lagu itu saya dapat secara tidak sengaja.
Stop membaca – baca ulang atau melihat – lihat barang pemberiannya. Kita butuh melupakan, bukan mengingat. Jangan memanjakan kesedihan dengan melihat – lihat itu semua kembali. Kalau perlu, masukin ke box, gembok dan buang kuncinya ke kali. Atau buang sekalian box-nya.
Stop menyusuri jalan – jalan yang pernah dilalui bersama (kecuali terpaksa). Lagi, kita butuh melupakan bukan mengingat. Nggak ada gunanya dengan sengaja menyisiri jalanan yang pernah kalian lalui bersama. Di samping itu, lewat jalan baru akan menambah perbendaharaan peta.
Percaya dan yakini bahwa apapun yang terjadi adalah tepat pada waktunya.
Be positive and always remember that everything is nothing. You didn’t bring sadness into your grave.

2. Kembalikan semangat
In my ‘sotoy’ opinion, before you can get the new spirit you have to release the old cranky spirit first. Unleash that. You can scream, write or in my case I draw. Those activities help you to release your sadness and distract you from sad memories. I can put full of my thoughts to drawing instead of him, even though I still think of him whenever I stop draw, but at least I have a time when my mind free from him and the sadness and I gradually released those.
Keep occupying your mind. That’s easier when you have a permanent job. But if you don’t, you can read books, watch movies, googling (you never now where google can take you by a single word), baking, cooking, gardening or playing as much as you can with your pet. It’ll help you to deal with the free time when you’re not doing releasing activities above.
See new things, new environments or new people. I’m sure you’ll realize how big this world is and how small your sadness is. If you’re not being able to see something new, then try to change your view. I mean, you can see something that you usually see with a new point of view.
Try something new. You can start it with small things that you do everyday. Use your left hand when writing, use different glass, re-d├ęcor your room and many other things.
Watch horror movie and sitcoms (any comedy will do).
Pray. Bring yourself closer to God. Only He who put you in this mess can bring you out from it. And only He who always stay and loves you forever. Ask Him for strength, and the ability to born new.

3. Maintain the good shape of your soul and your relationship with God. Learn your mistakes and don’t do it again. And remember, nothing really matters in this world. We’re just passengers.

Good luck.










Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Ride line


This is a collaboration with a friend of mine.
He did the drawing thing and i did the coloring.
to coloring in layered lines was a pleasure for me :)


.I manifested the feeling, the i-thought-it's-a-vision into this sinking ship.




.I long to lay me down on a
green grass and gazing the wide sea.









Friday, September 11, 2009

work place


This is where i spend my time at weekdays.
..........................................................................my messy cozzy work desk.....

Monday, August 24, 2009

My new idol (yay!)

everybody, meet my idol..

Boris "The Flowers"
sketch (photo re-work)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Curly rainbow


No birds to eat the left breadcrumbs
no need to wait untill the moon comes up
go, follow the trail


(i couldn't finish it, just yet)

Sudoku Battle




what we need to battle on.


Monday, April 13, 2009

Tribute to Pavement

There was a land of fairies
Where green was the most fun play ground.
Where fruits and flowers were handed down for them.



But then, the growing number of human population took the land of fairies.
And pavement took over that place, also along with it: comes flood, global warming and decreasing water.

The (unknown purpose of) Menteng Park's Glass Houses


These glass houses are beautiful.
They're built integrated as Menteng Park (Jakarta).
Although i like them much, i don't have any idea for what purpose they built them.
I haven't seen any activities held in there.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Practice for Brain and Hand

Allaboutdrawing.com once sent me news letter about practicing our right (creativity) brain.
Then, i followed the suggestion.
These are the suggestion:
1. Draw your other hand. Don't look at your paper, just do a blind drawing. (number 2 on my drawing page)
2. Or, you can try doing an upside down drawing. Both of these exercises force your left brain to stop thinking. (number 1 on my drawing page, and i must confess that this was the hardest one)
3. Try drawing evenly spaced vertical, horizontal and diagonal lines. Then, practice cross-hatching by drawing all of these lines together in one square.
4. Do an outline drawing of anything near you. It can be as small as you like. Once you focus on the outline, all manner of thinking should disappear.



have a try!

I need name for this park, please help!

in my mind i want to draw a playground with wizard theme.
So far I've just drawn this single ride (I'm working to draw other rides).
Now, i don't know exactly what to name this playground.


Some friends suggested:
# Jinxy woods
# Whizz lane
# Neverendingfun
# Abrakada(land/park)
# Starlet Island / Starlight Woods
# Hocus Pocus World
# While me, just had "Witchery Bliss" crossed my mind.
Please, if some name occur to you, let me know.
And if you also have the idea of the rides, i'll be really appreciate to know, I'm not really good at imagining.
Thank you, thank you....


ps: i don't know how to draw Ferris wheel, below, was a practice.
I planned to draw Ferris wheel with wizard theme, later on.

Happy birthday people of March

This comic wannabe goes to my friend; Dandi





And this one goes to my gals of March friend


Wish you all great journey till end!
Cheers

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Hill of Music (where the state of mind of nothing to lose, lies in you)

I was asking my self: what is exactly belongs to me?
And I thought the answer is nothing!
Yes, nothing in this world possessed by me, not even my dog.
I’m totally own less.
Stuffs and persons that I treated as mine are actually God’s.
They’re temporarily stays with me and could be taken away at anytime without any prior notice, by the Master.
When it’s taken, it could cause me a severe pain of losing.
The only way to reduce the pain before it’s taken away is to accepting that I’m not owning them,
that they’re also like me; a foreigner on earth.
But, that is not a justification for me to be an irresponsible human being, to be a careless person.
I still have to keep an eye for them, and, in order to avoid regrets once it lost,
I also have to hold on what lies before me today, don't take it for granted.
It is an advance task to do, because I need to be able to love and enjoy what’s around me
and at the same time, not too attached to them.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Air of December..

Thursday afternoon
You cast a shadow 'round my room.
The breeze moved the curtains,
and lifted my perfume into the air,
and danced with lazy curls in your hair.
The sun was in the sky like pink champagne,
and it glistened in your eyes all day.

I remember you put a chill across my face
like the air of December, I swear I remember it that way.
I swear I remember it that way,
I swear I remember it...

Where are you now?

You stood by the lake,
I wanted to take you for granted.
The grass was thin and high.
The water mirrored tiny sparkles to the sky.

I remember you put a chill across my face
like the air of December, I swear I remember it that way.
I swear I remember it that way,
I swear I remember it...

Where are you now?


In the by-myself morning
the birds wind chime,
the tree limbs crackle
and the sunshine climbs up the sky..
Like the pink champagne that glistened in your eyes all day.

I remember you put a chill across my face
like the air of December, I swear I remember it that way.
I swear I remember it that way,
I swear I remember it...

Where are you now?

(Edie Brickell - Air of December)

Orchid and Fairies


we present you.....


Orchid bloom!



no matter how hard the rain has fallen, if you keep your garden taken a good care, blooming is the best present.


just wait, we will make another to bloom..

I'd Like To Resign From Adulthood

#1 To fall in laugh, with or without a reason..







#2 To acting fool like a clown..















#3 To draw whatever i like..








i was drawing some lines when my nephew Bona suddenly join the fun which i enjoyed by myself at that time.
He wanted to draw, then i let him draw whatever he wanted to draw. illustration number three was done together with him. his works are inside the blue circle, and for the rest is mine. i dominated the paper ha-ha!

PS: The scanner hates color pencil, it makes the colors appear not as how they supposed to be.