riding through the wind

Apple Fairies

2012-03-02T12:38:00.003+07:00

just got back from the place where the stick fairies surrounded by apples.

My first bookcover illustration

2011-11-09T22:06:00.002+07:00

The Candymakers by Wendy Mass.

I thank you Lord, for this opportunity :)

Final covernya akhirnya pakai yang warna ungu.

hua! lupa, belum foto bukunya..

Will update it with the picture of the copy :)

Annie (..tomorrow..tomorrow..)

2011-11-09T21:46:00.000+07:00

(Digital painting with adobe photoshop CS3 and A bamboo)

I made this for Kelir Monthly (November) theme. The theme is Film adaptation, and i chose Annie. I don't know, the song when they sing "Tomorrow" stuck in my head

The Sycamore Seed Fairies

2011-10-13T18:11:00.001+07:00

The inspiration: Sycamore Maple

I love this tree with its seed!! :)

(Picture taken from: http://tree-species.blogspot.com/2009/02/sycamore-maple-acer-pseudoplatanus.html)

Outline sketch of The Sycamore Seed Fairies

Final artwork with pencil-coloured.

Trying out my new pen

2011-08-11T00:13:00.001+07:00

This is a result of my new pen, School-G. I also use white ink correction and watercolor.

Love how the pen smoothly run through watercolor-textured paper. I can easily create many lines like i always do.

Playing with Ballpoint (Pilot & Standard)

2011-08-04T20:20:00.002+07:00

...Do not trust a cat on a mushroom, my son...

Rest In Peace Alek The Yellow Canary

2011-07-19T15:18:00.001+07:00

On one morning, Alek, our yellow canary with beautiful sound, left us to its final resting.

Alek died on sharpness teeth of our dog, Kimo.

Rest in peace Alek..

Travel Sketching (Ho Chi Minh & Siem Reap)

2011-07-08T20:44:00.000+07:00

Seperti yang saya ceritakan di postingan sebelumnya, saya baru kembali dari negeri Candi. Selain ingin melihat kemegahan candi-candi di sana, saya juga ingin mengabadikannya dalam sketsa.

Tapi, misi ini kurang berjalan lancar karena saya bingung untuk memfokuskan pikiran pada sketchbook dan objek saya. Terlalu banyak bengong melihat kecantikan candi-candi dan tenaga yang terkuras habis untuk keliling-keliling. Tidak cukup waktunya untuk memuaskan hati keliling-keliling candi dan mensketsa.

Bakong Temple, Angkor

Pre Rup

Ta Som

Buu Dien (Kantor Pos), Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

Dream come true!

2011-06-28T12:37:00.000+07:00

Sebelum cerita dikit soal liburan kemarin, saya mau teriak; Wuuaa..blog ku terbengkalai.. ;p
hehehe...

Anyway, puji Tuhaan, kemarin 2 minggu saya, kakak dan pacar melakukan sacred-trips..hehehe..
Kita ke Siem Reap, Kaamboja lewat Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam.

Tujuan, jelas untuk merasakan energi batu-batu dan melihat kehebatan candi-candi dan istana-istana di Siem Reap. Mulai dari Angkor Wat, Angkor Thom, Bayon, Pnomh Bakeng dan banyak lagi candi-candi lainnya. Tujuan lainnya adalah mensketsa bangunan-bangunan tersebut.

Melihat Angkor sudah jadi impian sejak..(uum saya lupa).. Sampai sempat tidak memikirkan lagi mimpi itu terus mikirin lagi, dan akhirnya kesampaian.. :)

uh..saya nggak bisa nyeritainnya.. semuanya tersimpan di hati dan otak saya..juga beberapa foto dan sketsa..

I share the sketches later on my "sketchbook" page (tab sketchbook).
And will share you the link of the photo album (later).

Oh, other thing related to this trip is i found 2 Cambodian marionette! aaaa.. :D i'm so happy.
Sebenernya ada banyak bonekanya, tapi cuma beli dua, mengingat space di tas dan uang yang musti dipikir baik-baik hehehe.. saya harus mengingat teman dan saudara untuk juga mendapatkan souvenir dari negeri candi ini :)

Huah, thank you so much dear Lord Jesus Christ..

Pinokio Rindu Gepeto (Paperowrk)

2011-05-26T17:22:00.003+07:00

Awalnya ini lukisan akrilik di kanvas, tapi di tengah jalan, rasanya ada yang nggak pas.
Langsung kepikiran "keyword exchange" dari seorang teman, "papercut" jadilah iseng-iseng gambar lagi di kertas (sesua ukurannya) diwarnai pakai cat air, dipotong2 dan ditempel dengan ganjelan..
aaa..senaang.. belajar bikin lukisan 3D.
Rada kesusahan saat motong-motong bagian kecil-kecil dan meliuk kayak ombaknya, kayaknya akan sangat membantu kalau pakai cutter stensil.

Setelah bikin ini, langsung kepingin untuk bikin yang lainnya..berlatih kesabaran dan ketelitian :)

A Very Long Dachsund and His Passengers

2011-05-16T13:29:00.005+07:00

I have a dog. His name is Kimo.
He's very cute! He inspires me everyday..
And here's one of them :)

Pencil

Ink

watercolor

Tengok Halaman Belakang Rumahmu

2011-05-14T13:49:00.000+07:00

Ayo!

where the paint tubes, brushes and papers meet.

2011-04-26T10:25:00.001+07:00

Practice portrait on wood

2011-04-26T10:19:00.000+07:00

For a friend, on his birthday

(photo by Lenny @nengkoneng)

Daily Sketch - Hint Mint

2011-04-26T09:51:00.000+07:00

Mengunyah Hint Mint, tak bisa berhenti!

Blessed Day...

2011-03-04T01:15:00.000+07:00

"good morning.. have a blessed day.."

The Bird & The Bug

2011-03-04T00:36:00.002+07:00

they meet in the garden on a sunny day..

Peacock Tail

2011-03-04T00:30:00.003+07:00

stunned by the beauty of its feathers... i learn the pattern and the color combination with this drawing.

Trying new watercolor on 'fairy'

2011-03-01T01:04:00.003+07:00

i found it hard to adjust my self with new water color brand, especially the lower quality than the usual. I struggled handling with its thickness :(

Warung

2011-01-24T00:41:00.001+07:00

Warung 1. Warung minuman dan camilan di Taman Menteng (dekat BB's)

Warung 2. Warung tempat hang-out polisi-polisi HI. Ada Indomie, gorengan enak, kupi dll. Di warung sini, jadi tau polisi-polisi sangar itu ternyata manusia juga ;p

Sudirman Sketching

2011-01-24T00:30:00.000+07:00

Sket pertama di sekitar kantor polisi Bunderan HI. Kedua di samping Citywalk Sudirman dan yang terakhir sketsa malam dari halte transjakarta yang sudah tutup menghadap ke gedung Davinci Penthous.

#Superwoman: Lenny

2011-01-17T18:07:00.000+07:00

I made this illustration for my friend. I consider her as a superwoman.

Here goes Mbak Lenny flying her own plane :)

#My Sister Said: "Pedang" (Sword)

2011-01-17T18:00:00.000+07:00

Kind of remind you of King Arthur, eh?

#My sister said: Gondrong (long haired)

2011-01-17T17:56:00.001+07:00

My sister gave me the assignment to draw something related to "gondrong" or long haired.

And i came up with this which is obviously inspired from Rapunzel. :D

Joker Doll from Russia

2011-01-17T17:25:00.001+07:00

I bought this doll from a friend of mine.

It was such a pleasure to draw it.

Then i tried to draw it with another color i had in mind.

I found it looks like a japanese doll with Harajuku style rather than a Russian style.

Wooden Hand

2010-11-24T00:03:00.001+07:00

Kind a creepy to see it from a far ;p

Doll collection

2010-11-09T13:39:00.004+07:00

Here's some of my doll collection:

Miniature Ganesha, well actually this is not a doll, this is mini statue

A Pinnochio Marionette

A 5 set Russian nesting doll; Elena, Katya, Olga, Tatiana & Ekaterina Kurchev

A Troll called Nancy

My Moon Boy

2010-11-09T13:29:00.001+07:00

My moon boy with his moon on his hand..

Kimo

2010-11-09T13:27:00.000+07:00

Kimo was about to fall a sleep when i called him ;p

i need music

2010-11-09T13:20:00.000+07:00

This woman finds something soothing through music

Dandelion Blue

2010-11-09T13:17:00.000+07:00

Dandelion blue fly..
fly fly high.. say hi to everyone....

fairy on my mind

2010-11-09T13:15:00.000+07:00

meet my friend, she said she forgot her name......

Poor Yolly

2010-11-09T13:12:00.001+07:00

Oooh..poor Yolly.. :(

Kimo thought it was a mouse

2010-11-09T13:07:00.000+07:00

"Kimo...! That is not a mouse....! that's my...errrr..mouse!?"

Robot Illustration

2010-10-03T00:23:00.001+07:00

Made the line in one of my classes in Carrot Academy. The color was done with the intension to explore the media.

*i think i'm a robot*

Rindu Nyandi :: Candi Plaosan Lor

2010-09-29T14:52:00.001+07:00

Two Sides

2010-09-24T03:09:00.002+07:00

Everything has two sides.

Night and Day.

Play and Sleep.

Happy or sad, only you, can choose.

Lila The Fairy's Clothes Designer

2010-09-24T02:39:00.002+07:00

I made this for a friend of mine who runs her own small fashion business.

I've always think, she must be at her best time when designing clothes.

When she creates she fells like dancing on the moon.

Stick Fairies And Their Houses

2010-09-24T00:53:00.004+07:00

Fly, fly, fly

Fairies love tree and so do I.

High, high, high

Fly me up to the sky

Ganesha and Jonggrang around book corner

2010-07-07T18:21:00.004+07:00

I bought little Ganesha together with Jonggrang couple of week ago in Prambanan, and then put them in a book corner which comfortably match with the books. They will be my model in drawing practice.
I like them. As we all know, here in Indonesia we got so many Hindus' and Buddha's statue in ancient temple. I need to learn more about them.

Little Ganesha taken by: Danar Pramesti
Jonggrang taken by me

Leena and her Russian Doll Family

2010-07-07T17:42:00.001+07:00

Meet Leena and her Russian

doll familly.

Mbak Lenny kindly brought me these from Berlin.

They're super cute!!

Left picture taken by me

right pic taken by Danar Pramesti

Nancy (Nenek Cyhir)

2010-07-07T17:22:00.001+07:00

Meet Nancy, she's a fine troll given from my dearest friend,

Vara when she was on duty to Norwegia.

All pics taken by me

Look around you!

2010-07-05T23:43:00.004+07:00

Yes!

Look around you.

you might find yourself facing a bit of surprise of what you see.

These are few of things i saw around and surprised me.

Big eyed flower. Did you know, here in Indonesia this flower called "Mickey Mouse" flower?

I Found this rabbit jump around in housing area.

This kitten laid in dust pan in front of mini market.

The very basic idea of "Ksatria baja Hitam", i think ;p

Can't you see? They look just like dancing fairies with beautiful skirts.

All pics taken by me

Susahnya nyeket candi

2010-07-05T23:11:00.002+07:00

Certianya beberapa waktu yang lalu mau muter-muter candi untuk di sket langsung.

Sket candi pertama dalam trip ini (gambar di bawah) bikin drop dan menyadarkan saya yang terlalu ambisius. Akhirnya kebanyakan cuma foto-foto dan tanya-tanya soal sejarah candi-candinya. Nanti belajar lagi di rumah, sebelum lain waktu sket langsung di depan indahnya candi-candi.

Candi Plaosan Lor

Hasil sket langsung-nya..hahaha. jauh! terlalu ambisius sodara-sodara.

bermain garis yang (diusahain) lepas untuk bikin outlinenya.

Pic taken by me

is it? i think it is..

2010-01-05T23:16:00.003+07:00

..seperti mengandung bayi..hanya saja, ini dikandung dalam hati..

(pic taken from here)

Heal your emotional pain, broken heart and free yourself from sadness

2009-12-24T01:07:00.002+07:00

Menurut teman saya, sebut saja namanya Randu, banyak orang yang senang berada dalam kesedihan. Termasuk saya, katanya.

“elo itu udah bodoh, tapi senang dengan kebodohan lo dan berharap orang-orang memberikan piala atas kebodohan lo”.

What the heck??!

Buat saya yang waktu itu dalam keadaan super drop, seperti didorong jatuh ke tempat yang sangat gelap and I felt a wave of nausea all of sudden.

Dan dengan bahagianya dia malah menarikan “victory dance” atas perempuan-perempuan (saya dan teman saya satu lagi yang waktu itu juga sedang patah hati, sebut saja namanya kiki) yang sedih karena kisah cintanya, yang sayangnya banyak disebabkan oleh sedikitnya logika kami yang bekerja. Ahaha.

Sedikit tambahan, Randu adalah seorang laki-laki yang terperangkap dalam tubuh perempuan. Hell yes! you would know everything behind a man through her. Hanya kepada orang-orang tertentu yang dia pilih, dia mau menampilkan “wujud” aslinya.

Lalu, saya mulai mengingat semua kata-kata dia, yang menyimpulkan bahwa saya senang berada dalam kesedihan, bahwa saya harus memutuskan rantai kesedihan atau hidup saya harus berakhir dengan mengulang kesedihan itu terus menerus sampai akhir hayat (hehe berlebihan).

But then I realized that was true!

Bagaimana bisa?

Bagaimana mungkin?

Padahal, bukannya setiap orang mau bahagia dan nggak suka kesedihan?

Saya tidak tahu persis kenapa begitu..

Yang saya tahu, saya harus belajar, sembuh dan bangun. Saya mau bahagia.

Saya sudah puas bersedih, dari mulai nangis kecil, nangis guling-gulingan, bangun tidur nangis (sumpah, ini paling nggak enak), mau tidur nangis, muntah, menyiksa diri dengan lagu-lagu dan liriknya yang sedih, bengong, ngomong sendiri, ngomong dengan bayangan, menyusuri jalan yang biasa dia lewati, sampai googling yang berbuntut membuat saya merasa semakin nggak ada artinya.

Saya bisa bahagia dan memilih bahagia melalui pelajaran dan terapi untuk “kesembuhan” yang saya simpulkan dari perjalanan-perjalanan berbagi cerita dengan para sahabat, buku, film, lagu dan atau apapun yang saya temui.

1. Berhenti bersedih

Stop mendengarkan lagu-lagu sedih! Kalo kata Samuel, dengerin lagu-lagu mellow ketika sedih sama dengan menjorokkan diri kita semakin dalam ke lubang kesedihan. Saya (pada akhirnya) setuju, karena ternyata yang saya butuhkan adalah “alat bantu” untuk keluar dari lubang ini, bukan “alat bantu” yang menemani kesedihan dan akhirnya semakin menjorokkan saya lebih dalam lagi. Kemudian saya memilih dua lagu sebagai teman, yang satu lagu “ke-Tuhanan”, dan yang satunya lagi, lagu dengan irama riang tapi menenangkan dan menyemangati. Lagu yang saya pilih, telah melewati tiga seleksi; seleksi pertama, mendengarkan ketika sadar, seleksi kedua, mendengarkan ketika sedih atau ingat dia dan seleksi ketiga, mendengarkan ketika mau tidur. Kalau lagu tersebut bisa mengalihkan saya dari rasa sedih, bisa membuat saya bangun pagi tidak dengan air mata maka itu adalah lagu yang tepat, yang pada akhirnya saya putar berulang-ulang setiap saya berbaring mau tidur atau ketika merasa down. Untuk lagu rohani saya ngga menseleksinya, lagu itu saya dapat secara tidak sengaja.

Stop membaca – baca ulang atau melihat – lihat barang pemberiannya. Kita butuh melupakan, bukan mengingat. Jangan memanjakan kesedihan dengan melihat – lihat itu semua kembali. Kalau perlu, masukin ke box, gembok dan buang kuncinya ke kali. Atau buang sekalian box-nya.

Stop menyusuri jalan – jalan yang pernah dilalui bersama (kecuali terpaksa). Lagi, kita butuh melupakan bukan mengingat. Nggak ada gunanya dengan sengaja menyisiri jalanan yang pernah kalian lalui bersama. Di samping itu, lewat jalan baru akan menambah perbendaharaan peta.

Percaya dan yakini bahwa apapun yang terjadi adalah tepat pada waktunya.

Be positive and always remember that everything is nothing. You didn’t bring sadness into your grave.

2. Kembalikan semangat

In my ‘sotoy’ opinion, before you can get the new spirit you have to release the old cranky spirit first. Unleash that. You can scream, write or in my case I draw. Those activities help you to release your sadness and distract you from sad memories. I can put full of my thoughts to drawing instead of him, even though I still think of him whenever I stop draw, but at least I have a time when my mind free from him and the sadness and I gradually released those.

Keep occupying your mind. That’s easier when you have a permanent job. But if you don’t, you can read books, watch movies, googling (you never now where google can take you by a single word), baking, cooking, gardening or playing as much as you can with your pet. It’ll help you to deal with the free time when you’re not doing releasing activities above.

See new things, new environments or new people. I’m sure you’ll realize how big this world is and how small your sadness is. If you’re not being able to see something new, then try to change your view. I mean, you can see something that you usually see with a new point of view.

Try something new. You can start it with small things that you do everyday. Use your left hand when writing, use different glass, re-décor your room and many other things.

Watch horror movie and sitcoms (any comedy will do).

Pray. Bring yourself closer to God. Only He who put you in this mess can bring you out from it. And only He who always stay and loves you forever. Ask Him for strength, and the ability to born new.

3. Maintain the good shape of your soul and your relationship with God. Learn your mistakes and don’t do it again. And remember, nothing really matters in this world. We’re just passengers.

Good luck.

Malignant Narcissism

2009-12-02T22:11:00.002+07:00

Done while listen to Rush's Malignant Narcissism

.endless rain.

2009-12-01T22:53:00.005+07:00

Black and white

Coloured

Ride line

2009-09-30T20:44:00.009+07:00

This is a collaboration with a friend of mine.

He did the drawing thing and i did the coloring.

to coloring in layered lines was a pleasure for me :)

.I manifested the feeling, the i-thought-it's-a-vision into this sinking ship.

.I long to lay me down on a

green grass and gazing the wide sea.

Saturday morning through my eyes

2009-09-15T18:44:00.003+07:00

i enjoy each morning

work place

2009-09-11T22:00:00.002+07:00

This is where i spend my time at weekdays.

..........................................................................my messy cozzy work desk.....

My new idol (yay!)

2009-08-24T19:00:00.005+07:00

everybody, meet my idol..

Boris "The Flowers"

sketch (photo re-work)

Curly rainbow

2009-08-22T19:37:00.003+07:00

No birds to eat the left breadcrumbs

no need to wait untill the moon comes up

go, follow the trail

(i couldn't finish it, just yet)

Sudoku Battle

2009-08-22T19:09:00.006+07:00

what we need to battle on.

Roll the Drum, frogie

2009-08-07T22:25:00.005+07:00

give us the beat!

Tribute to Pavement

2009-04-13T22:38:00.004+07:00

There was a land of fairies
Where green was the most fun play ground.
Where fruits and flowers were handed down for them.

But then, the growing number of human population took the land of fairies.
And pavement took over that place, also along with it: comes flood, global warming and decreasing water.

The (unknown purpose of) Menteng Park's Glass Houses

2009-04-13T22:18:00.003+07:00

These glass houses are beautiful.
They're built integrated as Menteng Park (Jakarta).
Although i like them much, i don't have any idea for what purpose they built them.
I haven't seen any activities held in there.

Practice for Brain and Hand

2009-03-15T23:06:00.005+07:00

Allaboutdrawing.com once sent me news letter about practicing our right (creativity) brain.
Then, i followed the suggestion.
These are the suggestion:
1. Draw your other hand. Don't look at your paper, just do a blind drawing. (number 2 on my drawing page)
2. Or, you can try doing an upside down drawing. Both of these exercises force your left brain to stop thinking. (number 1 on my drawing page, and i must confess that this was the hardest one)
3. Try drawing evenly spaced vertical, horizontal and diagonal lines. Then, practice cross-hatching by drawing all of these lines together in one square.
4. Do an outline drawing of anything near you. It can be as small as you like. Once you focus on the outline, all manner of thinking should disappear.

have a try!

I need name for this park, please help!

2009-03-15T22:11:00.005+07:00

in my mind i want to draw a playground with wizard theme.
So far I've just drawn this single ride (I'm working to draw other rides).
Now, i don't know exactly what to name this playground.

Some friends suggested:
# Jinxy woods
# Whizz lane
# Neverendingfun
# Abrakada(land/park)
# Starlet Island / Starlight Woods
# Hocus Pocus World
# While me, just had "Witchery Bliss" crossed my mind.
Please, if some name occur to you, let me know.
And if you also have the idea of the rides, i'll be really appreciate to know, I'm not really good at imagining.
Thank you, thank you....

ps: i don't know how to draw Ferris wheel, below, was a practice.
I planned to draw Ferris wheel with wizard theme, later on.

Happy birthday people of March

2009-03-15T21:56:00.004+07:00

This comic wannabe goes to my friend; Dandi

And this one goes to my gals of March friend

Wish you all great journey till end!
Cheers

Hill of Music (where the state of mind of nothing to lose, lies in you)

2009-02-21T22:54:00.003+07:00

I was asking my self: what is exactly belongs to me?
And I thought the answer is nothing!
Yes, nothing in this world possessed by me, not even my dog.
I’m totally own less.
Stuffs and persons that I treated as mine are actually God’s.
They’re temporarily stays with me and could be taken away at anytime without any prior notice, by the Master.
When it’s taken, it could cause me a severe pain of losing.
The only way to reduce the pain before it’s taken away is to accepting that I’m not owning them,
that they’re also like me; a foreigner on earth.
But, that is not a justification for me to be an irresponsible human being, to be a careless person.
I still have to keep an eye for them, and, in order to avoid regrets once it lost,
I also have to hold on what lies before me today, don't take it for granted.
It is an advance task to do, because I need to be able to love and enjoy what’s around me
and at the same time, not too attached to them.

Air of December..

2009-01-14T11:22:00.003+07:00

Thursday afternoon
You cast a shadow 'round my room.
The breeze moved the curtains,
and lifted my perfume into the air,
and danced with lazy curls in your hair.
The sun was in the sky like pink champagne,
and it glistened in your eyes all day.

I remember you put a chill across my face
like the air of December, I swear I remember it that way.
I swear I remember it that way,
I swear I remember it...

Where are you now?

You stood by the lake,
I wanted to take you for granted.
The grass was thin and high.
The water mirrored tiny sparkles to the sky.

I remember you put a chill across my face
like the air of December, I swear I remember it that way.
I swear I remember it that way,
I swear I remember it...

Where are you now?

In the by-myself morning
the birds wind chime,
the tree limbs crackle
and the sunshine climbs up the sky..
Like the pink champagne that glistened in your eyes all day.

I remember you put a chill across my face
like the air of December, I swear I remember it that way.
I swear I remember it that way,
I swear I remember it...

Where are you now?

(Edie Brickell - Air of December)

Orchid and Fairies

2009-01-14T11:00:00.003+07:00

we present you.....

Orchid bloom!

no matter how hard the rain has fallen, if you keep your garden taken a good care, blooming is the best present.

just wait, we will make another to bloom..

I'd Like To Resign From Adulthood

2009-01-14T10:40:00.007+07:00

#1 To fall in laugh, with or without a reason..

#2 To acting fool like a clown..

#3 To draw whatever i like..

i was drawing some lines when my nephew Bona suddenly join the fun which i enjoyed by myself at that time. He wanted to draw, then i let him draw whatever he wanted to draw. illustration number three was done together with him. his works are inside the blue circle, and for the rest is mine. i dominated the paper ha-ha!

PS: The scanner hates color pencil, it makes the colors appear not as how they supposed to be.

simple thing that keeps me going

2008-12-29T01:49:00.005+07:00

you know, for a person like me who really loves to tied up my hair,
sometimes, to let the wind blows my hair is something delightful to fell.

like today,
i was on backseat of motorcycle rode home.
i loosed my hair and let the wind swirly blew it.
it felt like flying.

i felt that all of my needless thoughts were disappear into the unknown,
those thoughts were fly along with the hair movements and then gone.
i relieved and felt the spirit which i thought i haven't got that lately.

i was also gaze the stars.
that was a bonus for tonight.

clear starry sky and the wind that blows my hair.

Thank you Lord..

dear my future husband (which i don't know whom i sent this to)

2008-12-29T01:42:00.003+07:00

i know, wherever you are and i am,
we are and always will gaze at the same stars when we look at the sky.

we are apart, yet a part.

Scenery of cemetery

2008-12-15T20:27:00.003+07:00

I’ve been attending to three funerals for this almost past two months.

I still vividly remember the look of people that loosing her, his, their loved one. Tears, whine, anger, and regret are blended into one particular circumstance that I’m sure you all know how it feels being around them or being one of them.

Sad, of course. Knowing that your loved one separate into another dimension from you, the unknown.

The first funeral was my one of closes friend’s father. Her father passed away when he was on his duty outside Jakarta. He inhumed in Tanah Kusir.

The second was my college friend. He passed away when he took the intensive medication outside Jakarta also. He is now laid down in his last resting place, Tanah Kusir.

And the third was my old neighbor, a father of my child mates. He placed in Pondok Kelapa grave area.

All those three funerals had their own way of ceremony. Religion and culture made those different from each other, and behind each of those also had a different story;

I remember how an eldest son felt the unbearable repentance for not being at his father side for his last breath and just had a little time to see his father before the coffin closed at the third funeral.

I can’t imagine how my friend’s felt to welcoming her father home as an un-soul-ed body.

At the second funeral I remember how friends reminiscence him back in the college time.
Also at the second funeral the question that I couldn’t answer till now, came out.
“Are you ready?” (Well I silly answered the question with “depends on how I die”). Then i asked again "and, are you ready loosing someone that you love so much?"

I saw a train passed by the cemetery, while I asking myself those questions. I froze for a while and kept gazing that train until it’s gone. That was beautiful (I loves train).

It’s kind remind me about how I’ll never be able to know when, how or where my and people that I love’s train is going to stop.

It could be anywhere, anyhow and at anytime mine stop, yours stop, ours stop, their stop.
sooner or later. it shall stop.

i can choose and pick which one i like

2008-12-11T18:34:00.002+07:00

yes my dear,
please choose
and grab it.
make it as your own star.
for it will be your friend as long as you live.
a friend with unconditional love.
a friend from God.

don't be afraid, young lady,
you are free to decide.

when you are in the dark, it'll illuminate your path.
it'll help you to reach your dream.

brew coffee's terrace

2008-12-11T18:12:00.004+07:00

i was waiting my budy finish her test.
i was in a group 1, so i took the test earlier than her.
waited in Brew coffee's terrace made me quite sleepy.
it was so quite.
but then i found my self drown looking at people; how they walked, how they brought their bag, the way they occupied their time when waited cab or their private car.
i tried to capture that scene.
This is the view from Brew's terrace, i straight across the Bursa Efek Jakarta's building, the side building to be precise.
i don't like the yellow and pink, i think it should be rougher.

"to judge those who lives and dies"

2008-12-05T09:00:00.001+07:00

can you find moses here?

this is where they live

2008-12-02T02:15:00.001+07:00

and they brought me here that day..

they visited me

2008-12-02T01:56:00.005+07:00

that day, they were visit me.
they kept flying in my head over, over and over again.
that was a lovely time, they held my hand and sang together.
the song i've never heard before, the song i've never even think that it may exist.
but that was sound magically wonderful and majestic.

i couldn't record the song,
but i could make them seen through my drawings.
and these are the pictures of them.

i might be

2008-12-02T00:43:00.002+07:00

i might be blind,
but i ain't blunt...

well, i might be blunt,
but i ain't dumb.

sekolahnya bagus, soalnya banyak mobil bagus yang parkir..

2008-11-23T15:10:00.002+07:00

hee..????
emangnya sebuah sekolah bisa ditentuin bagus enggaknya dari mobil-mobil mentereng
yang parkir di areal sekolah apa?
ckck

self concept

2008-11-04T19:43:00.003+07:00

Stop trying to be an ideal person as your concept about how yourself to be, if it's not you.
That ideal concept about how yourself to be might be just an accumulation of person you've met, movies you've watched, others people idea, good person you've seen, good thought's you discover.
What matter is you, the real you, not the concept of how you should be.
it leads to disappointments, and soul confusing.

seprai kasur di musim hujan

2008-10-28T21:41:00.002+07:00

huaah..
kenapa seprai kasur selalu mendadak enak kalo musim ujan gini.
gw sangat menikmati mengelus-eluskan punggung kaki ke seprai,
atau menyelipkan tangan gw di balik bantal..
enaaakkk..lembut..dingin..
males ngapa-ngapain....